You know you aren’t getting out enough when you get home late one night to find a plastic bag sitting on your doorstep and your heart begins to race. It doesn’t race because you think maybe, just maybe, someone’s heard you praying every night right after brushing your teeth and has finally seen to it that the million dollar jackpot be delivered to you. No, your heart is racing because you are trying to move as quickly as possible, to undo the locks and to hurry inside before the bag blows up because all you can think is Oh my god, someone has left a bomb on my doorstep. Now, why I would even think I am important enough for someone to go out of their way to build a bomb for is beyond me. I must have artificially high levels of self esteem that peak when I spend too much time in stuffy hospitals.
After stepping inside, I flipped on the porch light (can I call it that even though the light does not shine on a porch but just a spot of sidewalk which happens to be right in front of my door?) and used my foot to part the bag open. Would it be a snake? A pile of poo? The money? Could that much money even fit into one plastic bag like that? And then I see small spheres which very well could have been poo, but there was also a note, and something told me someone who would leave poo on my doorstep would not be so considerate as to leave a note with it. They were plums, hand picked plums from the tree in my neighbor’s backyard. How nice of him… and here you thought it was a bomb!
Speaking of nice, so many people have been so very nice to me recently through this blog. First, it was the comments. Everyone likes comments, don’t they? Especially good comments that involve detailed stories or even just plain ol’ compliments are nice too. They amaze me because when I think about the comments I try to leave on other people’s blogs, they end up sounding like I had half my brain removed right before dinner. If I read something funny, I might leave a comment like, “So great! So funny! Har har! I’m a pirate! Ha, actually, no, I’m not. Heh… Heh…” and then I will close my laptop up because even it is feeling awkward and uncomfortable and cannot bear it.
Then after that, I got emails from people encouraging me to keep hope alive and wishing Alan and me all the best… something like that. I didn’t pay too much attention except for at the end when they signed with things like “Your friend.” And then I started thinking maybe now with all these acquaintances I can become properly socialized and stop thinking plums on my doorstep are out to get me.
it's amazing because there is so much bad in this world and you always think about that most. it's hard to remember there actually are nice people out there that leave you plums on your doorstep for no particular reason. it really is hard to remember that nice people do exist sometimes.
I'm a commenter with half a brain too! I want to sound smart, funny, compassionate & hip… Sometimes I'm those things in real life (well, maybe not hip so much), but it's really hard to convey them in a box on a blog.
Enjoy the plums!
There, at least I was relevant.
It's easy to think the worst when there is so much bad in the world. Just remember that there are more good people out here than there are bad. Keep your chin up and EAT A PLUM.
Well I guess I'll jump on the nice comment band wagon too, and just let you know that I love your blog and I think your writing is so witty. I always look forward to reading it 🙂
Hi I am a new follower of you Blog, I write mine in Italian, so maybe you will never read my AMICI DI LETTURE, which is about giving suggestions to my students and help them to love literature. About the plums, my father yeaterday asked for plums all day, and my mother went out early to the market to buy them…I thought it was a funny BLOG coincidence!
Bye! Giovanna
i suffer from half-brain comments as well. I like your blog. Keep it up!
Hehe I love your style of writing! It's so easy to read and whimsical 🙂
I've never seen plum trees before. I hope they were delicious!
This post reminds me of one of my favorite William Carlos Williams poems:
This Is Just To Say
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
Oh wow! That's such a random and nice thing to do 😀
I wish someone would leave plums on my doorstep…
As for commenting with half a brain, they make the reading part so interesting ;D
I love your blog(:
Keep it up ^^
So I may seems a bit silly here, but I have always loved your posts. I have yet to leave a comment because I was always afraid that it would just get lost in the sea of wonderfully thought-out comments that other leave you. So that I stand out this time, I will try to be both clever and succinct.
*You are a beautiful writer. If I knew you, I'd leave you plums, too. *
Thanks so much for sharing your stories.
Cynicism has become a way of life. We just go by what's conventional and fit things into a slot without trying to check their uniqueness.
Ha ha, nice post. I really enjoy reading your blog. Going to end it right here, before the other half of my brain falls out 🙂
Take care!
I've always been amazed how much support I've received through my blog, from people I don't know and probably will never meet. A single comment can really brighten my day.
I'm glad that you are getting the same sense of support.
And free produce.
I was in a simular situation resently. My aunt's ex-husband came to town to help my cousin find a college she wanted to go into. Well, she told him how we were having money problems and he went out of his way to go to the store with me and bought all of the food I needed. When I told my mom the first thing out of her mouth was, "What did he want in return?" Nobody can give without being asked what their motives are.
I also have the same problem with my brain and comments (though I suspect it's more than half that's snuck off). Perhaps all these missing half brains are in cahoots, and are partying somewhere together? (*insert embarrassment at my awkwardness here*)
I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I read your blog regularly. My thoughts are with you and Alan. I'm amazed that, no matter how horrible life may seem, you always manage some witty post about horrible nurses and the like (I've had my fair share of those). I'm glad life presented you with an altruistic gift of (non-exploding) plums!
I am a new reader of your blog and really love your writing style. Your blog is becoming one of my favorites!
Hi Sobrina
I really love your writing style .I've never seen you but I can imagine you as an honest and kind person .ENJOY THE PLUMS
Interesting blog!
I recently found your blog and adore your posts. There! Brain intact! Keep it up!
My comments are always lame……but I have to tell you that the best thing about your blog is your honesty and the fact that you have a sense of humor about yourself. Especially when going through a hard time of hours and hours at the hospital and worry about your husband, your sense of humor is what will get you through! Know that we are praying for your husbands quick recovery.
(Beware! It's a doozy of a story ya'll) If I had seen a bag near my door I would have wondered what my hypochondriac neighbor wanted. You see I have this semi-elderly woman who thinks she is either dying or on top of the world because one of her 30 supplements is magically making her kick her hills up, who lives across the street from me.
Upon first moving here I thought she was kind and friendly. The neighbor next door to her tried to warn me with subtle insight. Subtle doesn't sink in with me…you have to just say, "That lady is crazy! She will latch onto you and try to manipulate you for sympathy and rides and any and everything!!!". But alas, they said something more like, "She's a little eccentric." Well who isn't?!
Every so often this neighbor will call and ask me to take her to the 30th doctors appt this week (last minute of course), or to go pick up her grandson who just got let out of jail, or to go buy her some lemons even though I am broke and not going to the store and she never has money. I, after seeing the error of my ways for believing her hootin nanny bullcrappers, tell her no. If she catches me at the wrong time or decides to push it with me I have been known to tell her what I really think. No cursing, but I do become brazenly honest and often hang up on her.
It is almost a fact that within a 12 hour period of time of me telling her like it is, she will leave some sort of brown nosing gift in my driveway. It's terribly annoying. It's hard to dislike someone who keeps groveling. I have managed to screen my calls with more accuracy at least.
When I see a bag on my doorstep, my first thought is always, "The kids cleaned the litter box again…". They always just toss the bag out the door onto the porch, I'm the one to take it the other couple feet to the garbage can…well, at least the litter box is clean!
Thanks for the smile, I love your blog, and figured out how to follow you! I hope you don't mind that I've linked to you from my blog, its new and I don't have any followers yet…but let me know if you'd rather I didn't. 🙂
Nice blog!!
Visit
WINE BLOG:
http://do-nariz-a-boca.blogspot.com/
It's funny because you hope for those things all the time, and when it could be possible you immediatly think the worst. Why?! The plums were nice though!
That's kind of random… plums… reminds me of my blog! But only because the link is fweeandplums.blogspot.com… other than that…. not really
That happens to me too, everytime I want to comment on something I feel stupid and just leave the webpage… See, even this comment is awkward, and I must now force myself to click publish before I regret it.
Well , if you can't have money , plums come a close second . Nice neighbour .
Properly socialized is overrated, don't worry about it 😛
I wandered into this blog and I'm glad that I have.. I think it's nice that the plums did not judge you for thinking they were poop. I've always felt that plums are among the most forgiving of fruit… Stop by my blog lifedeathandcancer.blogspot.com if you are interested in my thoughts about life, death, and my tumultuous relationship with cancer.
Anecdotes, poems, and inserted embarrassment — you guys are so not half-brained commenters. 🙂
lol, sound like sumthin id do lol
wow that's a great story – the bomb thing haha:P i really enjoyed ti and i think yr right cause eveything is happening these days right?? you may get suspicious about such things 🙂