I first discovered that Irene sometimes left her front door unlocked some years ago when I’d go over and occasionally try the knob before knocking. Living in a such a diverse, large, frenzied city such as L.A. – where thousands of people routinely have their dreams crushed when not making the cut for the next big reality TV show – I sometimes worried for her and her over-trusting nature. One day, I found the door unlocked and stealthily let myself in. Upon entering, I could see her directly in front of me, sitting on the couch reading a book. She was so absorbed into it, that she hadn’t noticed my entrance at all – which is exactly what I was worried about. I stood completely motionless. It was quiet in her apartment, eerily still. I could even hear the ticking of the second hand making its determined way around the clock. It was perfect timing. I clasped my hands together, bent my elbows and pointed my index fingers up in the shape of a makeshift 9mm. With a wide stance, I cocked my gun and pulled the trigger. “Bang! Bang!” I yelled. And then, after recovering from the recoil, “Oh my gosh! I could have killed y—“ “I knew you were going to do that!” she cut in, whipped around and smiled with twinkling eyes.
The Worst Assassin
Last modified: January 10, 2019
9 Replies to “The Worst Assassin”
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It's apparent with all your sneakiness that she was more aware than you thought. Funny moment, though.
So your "ninja-cat-like" quickness and stealth was no match for someone in tune with the force……. She felt the disturbance before you knew what you were going to do! 🙂 I've been chuckling for a few minutes on this post, thank you I needed that! On a more serious note, not locking your door is a very big no-no, whether you are in a large city, or a small town. I know of too many people that have been robbed, or had there home invaded, and we live in Wisconsin! I can just imagine what it is like where you are. Keep it up Sobrina! 😀
This is such a lovely, light-hearted post! I love it :.)
That being said, Rich is right, and I know this from experience. You and your friend should definitely be careful to lock up to keep yourselves safe.
Is there a mirror on the opposite wall? Maybe you really are stealthy, but your friend has better peripheral vision. 🙂
LOL LOL LOL!
well, I don't like startling people, especially from close distances. Who knows when your defense reflex could kick in and someone can get hurt.
Oh and I don't like surprise parties as well … so awkward. But I enjoyed the your description of the quite room
Nabeel, once I startled a friend and she punched me, so I know what you mean 😛 It was great though because for the rest of the night I got to go around telling people she punched me.
Thanks everyone for the advice in home safety! Sob's right. I am WAAAY too trusting.
But seriously, Sob…you are SOOOO predictable. 😀
It is good to be young and have your heart jump started. Not so good for the older folks. Like when you get those tranquil email videos that end up being a hideous screamer face. Especially when you are on the computer late at night and it's quiet.