Sunday, May 31, 2015

Riding Off Into the Sunset

handsome man
beach selfie
drinking coffee in the woods
giant pizza
My friends, I have sad news to share. On the morning of May 22, my husband Alan passed away in peace at home. Never one to leave you without a visual, he called it "riding off into the sunset." Writing about it now brings a giant lump to my throat and tears to my eyes. We are so touched by the many people who have reached out and cared for us during this difficult time. We had people praying for us every day, people driving around town to pick up Alan's favorite foods and personally delivering it to our doorstep, friends from near and far coming to visit and cook for us, bosses that allowed for flexible work schedules, our favorite restaurant whipping up complimentary, off-menu items catered to Alan's tastes, friends and family helping us at home and in the hospital in whatever way we needed. We are so blessed. I cry every time I receive a card or an arrangement of flowers. Some are from people I've never even met. Please know that I've read every note (and I'm sorry if I haven't responded) and have been encouraged by your words. You are all so, so sweet.

Alan once told me, "It's easier to be brave when you have someone to be brave for. I try to be brave for you. Maybe it would help you to be brave for someone." I didn't really understand what he meant at the time, but when he was gone, I knew. I would be brave for Alan. I would live the beautiful life he'd made me promise I would.

One day I will share more about his last moments. I feel honored that he chose to share the end of his story (at least the one here in this world) with me. Until then, I'll continue to blog about delightful things to eat, see and wear and live my best life possible. Because that's what Alan wanted.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

On Being Ready/Not Ready

It's been a hard week. Last Friday, Alan had a 106 degree fever and was hospitalized for severe infections. His sodium levels dropped so dangerously low that the doctors were surprised he didn't have a seizure. When we got back home, Alan's nurse Iris came over to check on him. She asked a really hard question that really threw me.

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