This morning, in the beginning, we were hopeful. The sun was out and its delicate rays draped about the room. It would for sure be a skirt day.
In the bathroom, I began the routine that begins every morning — the brushing of teeth, the application of face lotion, then concealer, then powder and then the dealing with of hair. Alan’s phone rang. It was the hospital. From what I could gather in between arranging this hair over that, it seemed that Alan was being scheduled for a colonoscopy THE colonoscopy that would signal the beginning of the end, the one that would trigger the series of tests that would tell us if he had beat it down, if the cancer was gone, if we could put all the ugliness of the past year in a box, tape it up and stow it away in the back of the closet on a shelf high above us.
I could hear him on the phone, reminding the nurse on the other end about the thing with his intestines. Will that matter? he wanted to know. What thing? she asked because she did not know, had not read his charts right and had no clue about the thing with his intestines. But of course he knew, could not wait to unknow and so he explained to her the thing with his intestines, the detachment of them. Oh, that! she exclaimed, and as she held her warm coffee mug in her hands with the phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, she considered saying that they dealt with those all the time, those being the easiest to deal with in said procedures, but decided against it and said that she would have to consult the doctor and hung up. Alan looked at the phone in his hand, doubtful. I couldn’t imagine a whole team of medical professionals not considering the thing with his intestines before calling him to tell him ‘The end is near!” and “Rejoice!” so I believed them and told him “Yay! This is the beginning of the end!”
I slid on my skirt and before I left, he said “I’m excited.”
Now, the lesson here is to never become too excited and hopeful anytime a medical professional calls you with news, at least if they are from Valley Medical. Later in the day, Alan told me that the nurse had called him back. She had consulted the doctor and they had new news, the news being that they would have to call him back. The exchange between the nurse and the doctor went something like this:
Nurse: Doctor, we forgot to consider the thing with the patient’s intestines.
Doctor: What thing?
Nurse: The thing! The thing!
Doctor: Oh, right, yes, that thing.
Nurse: He wants to know if that will delay things.
Doctor: (rubs her chin, wipes off crumbs from breakfast) Tell him we’ll have to call him back.
Which is where we are at now, somewhere in between Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum who are eating donuts and having lots of good laughs in their warm, comfortable, if not well-stocked, break room.
i'm so sorry you have to deal with tweedle dee and tweedle dum…hopefully this all gets resolved soon.
will be praying you both stay positive while waiting to hear back!
Dontcha hate it when that happens?
I'm sorry, but stay positive, and wear that skirt with pride! I wish I could wear a skirt, but it's definitely not a skirt day here on the east coast, with the blizzard and all. I hope to hear good news from the doctor on the blog in the next few days!
Hold onto the thought that tweedledum and tweedledee both destroy each other!
Skirt weather here too – as long as you have yeti-fur tights!
What a disappointment. I hope it gets resolved soon. Keep us posted, okay?
Doesn't this just instill such CONFIDENCE in Alan's medical team? Sigh. Hopefully they can get it sorted out & it really WILL be the end…
Sometimes I think doctors and nurses forget that there are human beings attached to those charts. People with hopes, dreams and feelings.
Waiting sucks. I hope you get answers soon.
Ugh. Sorry you guys have to deal with these fools. 🙁 I love the title of this blog, by the way.
Well crap! Stupid doctors… I was just thinking about Alan's tummy yesterday and wondering how the fight is going. I will send some good vibes and warm thoughts your way today. Keep us posted!
**Folds arms, makes pouty face.** Wellll, HUMPH! >=|
Geez, don't you hate being in Dumb and Dumberer's latest installment? They'll get it figured out soon, I'm sure.
Two separate unrelated reactions to this post:
1) You have no idea how much I LOVE the title of this post! Up until last May I was keeping a fairly steady blog on Myspace. One of my more memorable posts (at least for the few readers I had) was entitled "Conversation With Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dumb", in which I described an actual conversation between I and two of the dumbest people I've ever had the *cough* pleasure of working with. If I ever get my new blog started, I'll have to repost it.
2) That really blows. I suppose everyone is entitled to an occasional case of the stupids – I know I do q
uite frequently – but it's kind of hard to let it slide when it's the people you are trusting to save your guts (literally) who are having a lapse in common sense. I hope this is the last of their brain farts, and that everything works out for both of you.
Rachael
No news yet, but thanks for all the well wishes!
Hey Sobrina,
late again but just managed to catch up on the conversations between Dee and Dum and mate, I'm really sorry to hear you're still all anticipation.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and hope you get the news you want.
*hugs*
And PS – thanks for making me realise once again that the world is all about perspective. Chin up lovely!