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When did everyone start using the article “the” in place of a possessive in writing? I think it is meant to be cute or endearing, but I just don’t like this new trend in blogs and reviews.

The worst offenders I have seen lately (and I would know, having spent a large amount of time today researching a good, non-pretentious, preferably Top-40 playing dance club to celebrate my birthday at and a good Korean restaurant for dinner tonight on Yelp) are Yelp reviewers. Now I know most of the reviews on Yelp are for restaurants, and as it turns out, going out to eat is a common activity shared by significant others.

Everyone knows that and if you ever see your high school crush after having been with his high school sweetheart for much too long, you will know it too. It might happen when by chance you find yourself out with a new group you don’t usually hang out with and who also happen to be friends with said ex-high school crush. At first you may not recognize him because for all those years you had always admired his athletic build and quick, bright eyes from afar. And the person who is rubbing his hands together in an unappealing manner and asking if he can buy you a drink is not the person you had placed on near celebrity-status years ago. Instead what you see is an unrecognizable man who gave into his late night munchies one night too many and chose ordering in a romantic dinner over going for a romantic walk too often. And because in high school when you are not popular and have crushes on popular people, you do not know any course of interaction deeper than watching for them as they enter into the classroom or perhaps asking what the homework assignment was. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, per se, but it does leave you with a very limited view of your crush, so years later when you would have thought you would be overjoyed in his taking an interest and asking if you’d like a drink, it is actually quite disappointing.

Alas, the point is, why can’t reviewers just own up to the fact that it is their boyfriend or girlfriend that ordered the fettucine alfredo? Why must it be the boyfriend or the SO? For some reason, it just rubs me the wrong way. The same way people who pronounce advertisement ad-VER-diz-ment do.

Last modified: January 10, 2019