If email doesn’t convey enough tone or emotion, the telephone conveys much too much. Over the telephone one can hear the frantic tone of voice from the other party and the desperation cuts through; it reaches out from the phone line, grabs you by the shoulders and shakes and shakes.
Because I don’t know who to blame (because there isn’t anyone really), but also because I want to have someone to point the finger at, I am filled with my own panic which is so overwhelming it fringes on anger. Without being able to think of a quick, fail-proof solution, the feelings swell inside until finally, when I least expect it, a live version of a Sarah Mclachlan song matching the night sky releases the tears collecting near the backs of my eyes.
After some sleep and some coffee, despite the overcast sky the next morning, it seems like everything is back to normal, maybe everything will patch itself over without anything needing to be said or done.
Suddenly, a phone call interrupts the day. More words are said to remind me of the situation. I feel not unlike Atlas must have felt, except I am not actually holding up any world just yet.