Written by

Sugar Mommies, Daddies and Babies


The other day Irene and I were sitting in a cafe studying. Or, more accurately, I was crying over my math problems and Irene was watching the man next to me sketch. Probably when she couldn’t stand my blubbering anymore was when she turned to me and told me to check out this site — www.seekingarrangement.com. And for the next half hour we became engrossed in a conversation about sugar daddies, mommies and babies. Namely, we asked “Are these people for real?”, “Who looks like that and CAN’T find someone?”, “Who does this?”, “Would you do it?”, “Would I do it?” Irene seemed to have a harder time than I did imagining how great it would be to be a sugar baby. She kept talking about how sugar babies would be the equivalent of a high class prostitute. But I wasn’t listening. I was imagining jet setting to Rome for a bite of lunch on a Tuesday, 50 new pairs of orthopedic comfort shoes and how one day I might not feel the need to steal all of the soap and shampoo when preparing to check out from a hotel (oh, who am I kidding, those are irresistible). 

Driving home from the cafe, I thought about the idea a little bit more and upped my future comfort shoe count to 65 — there would be no need to be so conservative with my belongings, should I actually secure a sugar relationship. Oh, but Alan. I couldn’t be positive, but I’m pretty sure he would have his reservations about the plan and would try to put a stop to it. He does have a way of being a wet blanket at inopportune times. 
A week came and went, a week spent rushing at an accelerated speed from Sunday night to Friday night. And in the rushing, my plan slipped my mind. 

However, the seed of obtaining a sugar parent was still implanted in my head the following weekend when Alan and I sat down to watch one of our favorite movies. A movie, as luck would have it, based on a blossoming romance between two sugar babies. As we watched, I became excited and less selfish — those sugar babies could be like us! I decided to change my approach, and when the mood was right, I leaned over towards Alan and said as casually as I could, “Maybe you and I could get a sugar mommy and daddy.” To which he said without a beat of hesitation, “No.” Which was a bit irritating, considering here I was, presenting this grand plan to him, and he couldn’t even be bothered to give it a moment’s thought.  
Because I was irritated, I didn’t push it, and instead switched back to my original plan. “Well, what if you get a sugar mommy for us?” Which I thought was a much nicer, more generous plan, one that would give him the flexibility in choosing his sugar parent. But I don’t think he liked that idea too much either, so I didn’t bother to elaborate on all the fun stuff we could do with an extra $20,000 a month — because that is the kind of ridiculousness advertised on some of the sugar mommy’s and daddy’s profiles. And for $20,000 a month to stand around and be pretty, Alan was being pretty unreasonable if you ask me. 
[Side note: If you like romance, Audrey Tatou or are curious about the life of a sugar baby, Priceless is a great Friday night movie. And after watching it, and after seeing her gorgeous gowns, let me know if you want a sugar daddy or mommy, too.]

Last modified: January 10, 2019