Friday, September 18, 2009

The Worst Assassin

I first discovered that Irene sometimes left her front door unlocked some years ago when I’d go over and occasionally try the knob before knocking. Living in a such a diverse, large, frenzied city such as L.A. – where thousands of people routinely have their dreams crushed when not making the cut for the next big reality TV show – I sometimes worried for her and her over-trusting nature.

One day, I found the door unlocked and stealthily let myself in. Upon entering, I could see her directly in front of me, sitting on the couch reading a book. She was so absorbed into it, that she hadn’t noticed my entrance at all – which is exactly what I was worried about. I stood completely motionless. It was quiet in her apartment, eerily still. I could even hear the ticking of the second hand making its determined way around the clock. It was perfect timing. I clasped my hands together, bent my elbows and pointed my index fingers up in the shape of a makeshift 9mm. With a wide stance, I cocked my gun and pulled the trigger.

“Bang! Bang!” I yelled. And then, after recovering from the recoil, “Oh my gosh! I could have killed y---“

I knew you were going to do that!” she cut in, whipped around and smiled with twinkling eyes.

9 comments:

2busy said...

It's apparent with all your sneakiness that she was more aware than you thought. Funny moment, though.

Rich said...

So your "ninja-cat-like" quickness and stealth was no match for someone in tune with the force....... She felt the disturbance before you knew what you were going to do! :) I've been chuckling for a few minutes on this post, thank you I needed that! On a more serious note, not locking your door is a very big no-no, whether you are in a large city, or a small town. I know of too many people that have been robbed, or had there home invaded, and we live in Wisconsin! I can just imagine what it is like where you are. Keep it up Sobrina! :D

Breenuh said...

This is such a lovely, light-hearted post! I love it :.)

That being said, Rich is right, and I know this from experience. You and your friend should definitely be careful to lock up to keep yourselves safe.

Cham said...

Is there a mirror on the opposite wall? Maybe you really are stealthy, but your friend has better peripheral vision. :)

J.Me. said...

LOL LOL LOL!

Nabeel said...

well, I don't like startling people, especially from close distances. Who knows when your defense reflex could kick in and someone can get hurt.

Oh and I don't like surprise parties as well ... so awkward. But I enjoyed the your description of the quite room

Sobrina Tung said...

Nabeel, once I startled a friend and she punched me, so I know what you mean :P It was great though because for the rest of the night I got to go around telling people she punched me.

Irene said...

Thanks everyone for the advice in home safety! Sob's right. I am WAAAY too trusting.

But seriously, Sob...you are SOOOO predictable. :D

Steve Julian said...

It is good to be young and have your heart jump started. Not so good for the older folks. Like when you get those tranquil email videos that end up being a hideous screamer face. Especially when you are on the computer late at night and it's quiet.

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