Thursday, November 12, 2009

Perfectionist Behavior

Yesterday after yoga class, while I was in their neck of the woods, I dropped in on Denise and Justin. Mostly I wanted to give Denise her birthday present, but then we got to talking and then it became kind of hard to stop. One topic led to the next and after a while we found ourselves talking about perfect people -- the kind who have it all, who make life look so easy, the ones who are just so happy. Primarily we were talking about how no one likes perfect people in all their perfectness. We even started giving examples of perfect people we disliked or who had too many fortunate situations placed before them. As Denise and Justin weighed in, I really felt myself connecting to them both on a new level. These were my cousins and they just understood me. They were on my side. Too bad the world wasn't full of cousins, the kind who understand you completely, the ones who know how aggravating perfect people can be.

I was becoming lost in thought -- maybe we could do something impactful, something big, like starting a new Facebook group with the express purpose of "Disliking Perfect People," a big group of non-perfect people just like us -- when Denise turned to Justin, an index finger poised contemplatively on her cheek.

"Hmm... Maybe we shouldn't send out those Christmas cards with the pictures of us in Hawaii and Japan," she said.

"But we took those pictures with the Christmas card in mind!" Justin said.

And then I knew that I had been mistaken. In fact, I was not in the presence of those who could rally and join me in my anti-perfect ways. I was with two people who plan their Christmas cards months and months in advance, while they are on a few of their many vacations in exciting and tropical regions of the world. And here they were pretending to be non-perfect people.

13 comments:

Thai said...

"No one's perfect." Though I do agree that some people just have it a lot more together than others, and they suck.

Usman Ghani said...

it so happens that you are thinking of other people are thinking the way you are, but it turns out to be the opposite.
theres a proverb in my language and if precisely translated it would mean "things are beautiful from afar"

so nothings perfect, those whom we see as perfect seek perfectness in others.

Jennifer said...

Your life could be much worse. I'm sure that many people look at you with envy.

Jessie said...

so funny! no one is perfect but it's easy to sit there and think other's have perfect lives. plus remember perfect lives are boring ones :)

2busy said...

Perfection is all a farce..

Little T said...

Perfect people are crumbling inside. I just know it. Or at least that is what I tell myself to get by.

Sobrina Tung said...

All very true! But you know I'm just kidding D and J -- you can still be in my new Facebook group!

Astroshock said...

I still have yet to figure how people afford to take vacations like that. How do they do it?!

Sobrina Tung said...

I know what you mean! I can never seem to afford to go anywhere. I have yet to go to Hawaii and I really want to.

MunkyBt said...

Yeah... I'm really not understanding any of this dialogue, or the comments everybody is leaving.

1. Why would you have so much self-loathing, Sobrina? Do you really want to start a Facebook page for people to just hate on you all the time for being so freaking fabulous? Weirdo.

2. You really need to not pay attention to the comments everybody is leaving. OF COURSE you exist! Duh! How else would there be a blog to comment on if you didn't exist to write it? (That is a paradox that would've made Albert Einstein's hair go flat, I'm sure.)

Don't hate yourself for being perfect, Sobrina. It just causes wrinkles. And gas. I think I saw that on Oprah or something.

SOL said...

It is only natural to wonder at the (seemingly) easy fortune of others, especially when you have really deeply suffered. I also think that perfection is a limiting concept--it implies ending. I prefer to believe in evolution, which potentially never ends.

Katherine said...

You just made me laugh at my computer.

I try to get sympathy from other moms about how hard it is to work, and take care of a family, and how, oh well, you just can't be perfect. And then I see their perfectly clean houses with their organic homemade children snacks and their children in homemade clothes and I vomit. Just a little bit.

Keats The Sunshine Girl said...

Can't even be perfect even if I try!!! If I try too hard I'll fall to bits!

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