Today I got another text message from a crazy person whom I have not talked to in over a year and a half. This one said, “Just wanted to check in and say forgiving is devine.” I’m not exactly sure what he’s talking about (a quick search on Google comes back with devinecolor.com, a Wikipedia summary for Andy Devine and Devine Lighting– none of which really make sense in the context given), but it sounds rather bossy which is very unappealing. It also kind of reminds me of bovine, like the time I went hiking with Nathalie and we ran into some cattle on the side of a hill.

Alum Rock.
So this is what nature looks like at 7 o’clock in the morning.

That little speck of white on the left is Nathalie showing the hill who’s boss. I’m further down the hill taking the hill’s order for breakfast.

Serious hills demand serious hiking.
Especially when the fog makes it look like you’re walking into nothingness.

When we turned the corner from our serious walking, I was still focused on naming the family of stones and pebbles stuck in the bottom of my sock, when all of a sudden Nathalie grabbed my arm and drew in a sharp breath of air. I looked up and saw a scattering of black, and I immediately became excited, thinking that maybe what we were seeing was none other than the Smoke Monster also seen on the Lost island. But as we got closer, I recognized the chewing of the cud and tried to reassure Nathalie that they were just cows.

Now, keep in mind, this is a woman who keeps stick bugs, 5 inch stick bugs, on her desk at work and speaks admiringly of them. So it was funny how unconvinced she was that these cows were harmless. And if I die tomorrow then it will all be okay because the surprised look captured on her face (as a cow started moseying her way) was priceless.

Here I am trying to reassure her that cows are our friends.

I had her convinced for the 5 seconds it took to take this picture.

Turns out the best thing to do when you encounter a herd of cows is to walk on by slowly but surely, while repeating the phrase, “Beef: It’s what’s for dinner.”