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Ab Envy


Sometimes, in the face of greatness, I am wont to ask silly questions I already know the answer to. This happened last weekend when I saw Nathalie’s trainer at the make up and hair studio where Nathalie was getting all dolled up. I had seen her trainer before, but this time, Nathalie asked her to show Denise and me her abs. She pulled up her shirt and I swear I have never seen such perfectly formed abdominals lacking any fat on a real person like this up close and personal before.

Obviously, I knew that she didn’t get that stomach by sitting on her couch watching re-runs of Dr. Phil during the day. Abs like that looked like the result of logging long hours in the gym and eating a careful diet, devoid of fluorescent Cheeto puffs or gummy bears. I knew all this (I am not without common sense all the time), but I could’t resist asking her for tips on how to get a stomach like hers. I think a part of me was hoping maybe she had a miracle answer — something manageable like not eating oatmeal.

So when I asked, all of a sudden I felt like a Cosmo reporter hunting down the answers and secrets for my next big summer piece — “Rock hard abs without breaking a sweat.” After I asked for her tips and before she answered, there was a pause that swelled like a huge ocean wave, right before it breaks. I waited for her to mention the oatmeal, but instead she said to eat fish and to not eat after 6 pm. The wave came crashing down. I had never even fathomed not eating past 6. This was mainly because I spend at least half an hour after work driving home, parking and walking to my house, which leaves about 15 minutes to make my meal and eat it. Also, I’d have to go to sleep at 7 if I stood any chance at all.

I suppose I’ll just have to rely on other means to the summer goods. Hey, look! This one’s even on sale.

Here we are outside Thi Make-up Studio, waiting for Nathalie’s turn to get glamorized.

Here’s a close up. Note my lip color (and Denise’s (middle)).

While waiting, D and I tried on Thi’s “perfect shade of red” lipstick made to complement Asian skin tones. Maybe I’m just not used to lipstick but my lips look oddly like I’ve been eating a popsicle.

A lot of time was spent here…

…but it was worth it! What a beautiful face!

Last modified: January 10, 2019