Now that Alan is eating again, is putting on weight and doesn’t have 5 different IVs and drips and hoses coming out of him, I’ve been able to notice “normal” things about him. For instance, things like his hair. I’d been observing it since he had been released from the hospital — its length, its in-excitability, its remarkable likeness to a leaf of lettuce clinging hopelessly to his head.
This weekend we were discussing the subject of his hair while waiting in line to order our tacos, when he remarked that he might just grow it out and wear it long, down to his shoulders long. He said he’d always wanted to have long hair again, so why not now?
While it’s true that some guys can pull off long hair, it should be noted that it’s as rare as the woman who’s able to successfully pull off the pixie cut. Not everyone looks good with an
extreme hair do, and was he trying to tell me he was a Halle Berry?
I was trying to picture the long hair in my head when he said, “See! Like that guy.”
I followed his gaze to the people in front of us. One man had just enough hair to warm the sides of his head. The guy next to him had a plain buzz cut. I couldn’t see any other guys he might be looking at because surely, surely he was not referring to the Metallica fan right in front of us. He had such a nice head of hair, so long, straight, black and luscious that he could have been mistaken for my friend Sue — a woman who could afford to quit her day job and pose for Pantene Pro-V ads as far as I was concerned. I looked at Alan and he he did a little head jerk to indicate that he was indeed referring to Metallica Man.
“Yeah, but he has straight hair,” I whispered.
“So?” he said.
“So?” I said, making a big deal of eyeing Alan’s very not-straight, very not-curly, but definitely something weird and sorta in between lettuce leaf. “So, no, that’s not going to work.”
We got home and I pulled out my scissors. I had had enough of the lettuce. As
I’ve never been formally trained on cutting hair, I did what I imagined most stylists do. I closed my eyes to envision what I might want my creation to look like. I thought of movie stars,
spaceships and swimming pools, when all of a sudden an image of an eggplant popped into my head. It turned out to be the perfect inspiration, and with some careful snipping, I turned the head of lettuce into the top of an eggplant.
Before – Lettuce Head
After – eggplant stem
Eggplant definitely trumps Metallica! Nice work! (O dear, just realized "trump" is a dangerous hair faux pas…)
…last time I tried to cut my hub's hair, it ended up looking like Mr Clean because I couldn't stop snipping. hehehe
well i think "before" is much better ?? ^^
Oh gee, you crack me up!! How do you come up with this stuff!!! luv it 🙂
Wow! He looks great! I think you've found your calling.
Inspiration can be found from even under a rock. 🙂
Not bad girl!
Wow, B – I'm impressed! I had no idea you could cut hair. The eggplant cut looks great on Alan!
my soon ti be hubby [four days] is verrry anti-people cutting his hair. his mom was cutting his hair once and snipped his arm and it stated bleeding. He now goes to one person and one person only. :] lol. I loooove the new haircut. :]
Wow! You did a good job!! Love it!
I like it alot, I cut my hubbies hair but nothing super spunky and cute like that cuz he's a soldier…darn military…
You are a genius. Like the Edward Scissorhands of vegetable hair! I would like to hire you for a broccoli floret bonnet.
hahaha Cham, you made me laugh out loud. Can Mr. Trump just learn to deal with his follicular (is that a word?) situation already?
Seyma, really? You liked the before? You don't think it looked too wilted? 😀 He'll be happy to know that not everyone thinks it looked like lettuce!
P.S. I think I have you all fooled, that "after" picture is just from a really good angle. From the back he's got a sorta mullet and a rat tail. And on the side, you can't see it, but it says AC/DC with a lightning bolt. Oh who am I kidding, that would be the best haircut ever!
wow you're pretty good! looks great!!! Glad he's doing better:)
Great job but I can't believe he actually let you do it! Nobody will let me near their head with a pair of scissors 🙂
My hubby has curly hair. He tried to grow it long once, but it just turned into a big bush on the back of his head. He had the teensiest little pony tail & would get those super small hair bands to pull it back with. Too cute. Since he wasn't really going for "cute" he decided to have it cut.
You did a fantastic job cutting his hair! But let me tell you something I learned from experience: When your fellow says he wants to grow his hair long, let him. A few weeks of it hanging in his eyes and flopping awkwardly to and fro, and he'll soon be getting it lopped off by a professional. (In most cases. Or you end up with Slash from Guns N Roses.)
i like that the eggplant itself kind of has a lettuce head. hahahaha
it did look like lettuce! Hahaha!
The whole hairy eggplant thing just sounds too odd , but the new haircut is very nice . He even looks as though , once he's got used to it , he'll quite like it !
Most days my frizz leaves me with some pretty serious Sprout-esque action on my cabeza. Do you think you can do anything with that? he he…
I really enjoy reading your blog. Thanks for sharing and best wishes!
Sobrina, i mean after is ok but before is much better for the look of his face and no i don't think it's wilted or something.. before is much more suitable for his face i guess.. i don't think that kinda short hair is ok for every man you know.. well, that's just an opinion. you already cut it right? LOL 😛
Good thing you were talking about the top part of the eggplant. I was a bit worried you were gonna shave his head and die his skin purple.
I'm diggin the eggplant look! My, oh, my, what a work of art!
I love this post – poor Alan! Did he mind you describing his hair like a lettuce clinging to his head? 🙂
No, I imagine he laughs at your writing, and that you are the light and happy joy of his life!
I loved the photos of before and after – and also the picture of Halle Berry – I was just wondering myself how many of us can pull off the pixie look?
Shaista, I don't know but she makes it look so easy doesn't she?? Tempted to try that look, but must resist!
I like your hair cutting skills.
I must be Alan's defender here. I am a staunch believer that you have to right to do any and all you want to your own hair. Period. Your significant others are supposed to support this no matter what. Especially if he had always wanted to do it. Come on, the man just beat cancer and is finally home again?! Don't you think he deserves to look any way in which he wants? Wouldn't you want to have that freedom?
I know when I wanted to express myself in ways in which my significant other thought was unwise or didn't agree with, and I went with their opinion to appease them, I inevitably harboured a small amount of resentment towards them for stifling my dream. Because it was my dream, not their's to stifle. Don't we usually stifle our dreams every day with excuses like, "I'm tired…not now…blah blah."?! So, it's not up to anyone else to stifle them for us. If someone wants to do something radically different, who cares?! What does it matter what Alan's hair looks like anyhow?! Shouldn't it be enough of a blessing that the man is alive and well enough to wish and have a dream…even if you think it's silly?!
I think Metallica hair is sexy on a man. Many women love that look and find it a real turn on.
(I hope you don't get your feelings hurt by what I said. I hope you can see where I'm coming from.)
I love how you compare hair to vegetables.
ThankYou, that definitely did not hurt my feelings 🙂 Actually, neither Alan nor I really take his hair nor my hair (or anyone's hair for that matter) all that seriously. I'm definitely glad that he's living well and back at home, but trying to get back in the groove of things, I tend to write about silly things. Sometimes I write about them in such an exaggerated way, that I think some people might take it the wrong way, but really it's just hair. I know that, he knows that.
Also, as he maintains that he will break up with me should I ever modify my car in any away (like by getting a spoiler or by lowering it) or if I ever get a tattoo, I reserve the right to have a say in how he wears his hair 😛
I couldn't help but giggle throughout this post. lol. You have a way of bringing out the lighter side of things, which I think is pretty awesome… and the veg comparisons- how original. Loved it!
Ciao, Alan does not look so happy with the hair cut. The good thing is that it will grow! Lettice or eggplant…it will grow, if you water it!
Baci,
Giovanna (Rome)
Too funny. Decent job with your first haircut, but he still has that piece sticking up in the back…lol
Having spent time in cosmetology school, I think "normal" people shouldn't cut hair though. It generally looks like your SO cut it. On the plus side, he made it home in one piece to have it cut! 🙂