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Office Talk: The war on lunchroom terror

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ladies lunching
sandwich combinations

Something I always thought was really funny is how wild and ruthless office lunchrooms can be. Alan usually brings his lunch, but he recently told me about this one day when he went out and got a big meatball sub. He ate half of it, wrote his name on the other half, and stashed it in the fridge. When he went to eat the other half the next day… it was gone! He didn’t even use a knife to neatly slice it in half either, so someone totally ate his sandwich with bite marks all over it.

The funny/scary thing is that I hear stories like this all the time. When I worked in L.A., my friend Tiffany left her Jamba Juice in the cafeteria freezer with a clean straw poking out of the top. When she came back to get it, someone had already taken a sip! Another time, someone told me he had been heating up a frozen burrito when he left for a few minutes to go check his email. When he came back, he found his burrito with a huge bite taken out of the corner. It makes me laugh just thinking about what that must be like to come back and find your burrito all amiss. (Wouldn’t it make you want to look around for hidden cameras?)

It also begs the question: who are these people?? Every time I tell this story, everyone agrees, Yes, who are these people? So no one’s owning up to it, but there has to be someone out there stealthily eating all these burritos and subs and washing it all down with fruit smoothies. When I meet that person, I’ll have to ask, What would you do if you got caught?

(top image via The Sartorialist; bottom image via Whole Living)

Last modified: January 10, 2019