Friday, January 3, 2014

Amazon Review for a Stanley 6" Box Cutter: An Unlikely Tale of Heroism

For Christmas, I got Alan a new computer monitor. It came in a huge box with obnoxiously oversized styrofoam cushions that took up our entire trash can. I broke down the box over the weekend with a pair of scissors and cursed their dull edge when my hand soon started to hurt. I threw the scissors aside and started using my bare hands to better tear apart the panels. Sweaty and out of breath, I decided right then and there to get a box cutter.

A quick search on Amazon brought up the Stanley 6" classic which Dan K "DPK" gave five stars. A seemingly simple product on the surface, the Stanley 6" classic is no ordinary tool. Dan's review showed me that it can be so much more, even—dare I say—magical...


He wrote:

"I just purchased a 60" LED TV last week which was double boxed in one of the biggest cardboard boxes I have ever seen. The freight company took the TV out of the box and left the box in my den. The box is so big that it wouldn't even fit through the door and down the stairs to my basement. I actually dragged it down to the basement and everything was going well until the box pinned me to the end of the staircase and wall."
{Alas, one should never turn his back on the beast!}

"I didn't know what to do because I couldn't push it back up because it was lodged between one of the steps and the ceiling; the box couldn't go back up and the staircase makes a sharp left turn so it couldn't make it down either."
{Oh no, it has you right where it wants you...}

"I didn't know what to do and I didn't have my phone and I was home alone so nobody would hear my screams for help."
{Like I said. Right where it wants you.}

"I did notice that there was about four or five inches between the box and the railing so I mustered all of my strength and charged up the stairs like there was no tomorrow to my toolbox where I keep this knife."
{Ah ha! My how the tables have turned.}

"Some how I made it back up and when I got back down I used some force to squish the box a little."
{Sweet victory is almost yours. Not much longer now...}

"If I was a large man, I would have been stuck in the basement till somebody came home to get me out."
{I don't even want to think about what might have happened.}

"Anyway, I knew I had to chop this box up on the staircase so I got the knife and I proceeded to dismantle it as it sat on the staircase. Within 15 minutes, I broke it up enough to toss most of the large panels downstairs. With all the weird angles, it took a lot out of me and I had to return the next day to finish the job."
{But of course! Slaying unworldly creatures is no small feat.}

"Now that I had the panels flat on the floor, this little tool went through each and every panel like a hot knife through butter."
{Lancelot had his sword and you have your box cutter.}

"And I want to note that this box is thicker than your regular cardboard shipping box and this knife still cut through it with ease. Now I have the contents of the cardboard box in one trash compactor bag in small pieces. I completed the job in 1.5 hours as it is much harder than you would think and I needed to take several breaks."
{Bravo, brave hero. Brav-O.}

"Over the years, I abused this knife so much and it still does the job each and every time. I'm sure it has many other uses but for what I use it for, it is indispensable."
{I'm sold; mine's arriving in the mail this Saturday.}

p.s. the best reviews for an ice cube recipe

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